In The Holidays

Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah to all you celebraters today. Hope everyone’s day has been good. I had a lovely dinner with my family last night and we opened presents afterwards. It was a bit of chaos with my niece and nephew, but it was really awesome to watch them get excited. They definitely made out like bandits this year. My nephew, who is two by the way, was so excited that he started opening other people’s presents, lol. Classic.

Today has been really quiet at my house since we normally celebrate on the 24th. I went to bed early last night to read The Tale of Despereaux, which I got for Christmas from my sister. It’s a really cute tale and I can totally see why it won the Newberry Medal. I realize I should probably not be reading a children’s book, but I can’t seem to grow up. I do have other adult novels I’m reading. Memoirs of a Geisha is one, which I really do love. I couldn’t put it down up until Christmas swept me up. I’m almost done that, though, so I can give it back to Gord when he returns :) I’m also reading Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell which is just huge and really hard to hold so that was sort of put on hold, heh.

I’m off for two more days from work so I have plenty of more time to read. I’m quite excited about that. On that note, I think I’m going to go off and do just that: read. Goodnight everyone. Merry Christmas and all that jazz!
Goodbye, CIBC!

In the work

On Friday I gave my manager my letter of resignation. I was frightened to do it because I didn’t want to be yelled at but as soon as I did I knew all of my fears were for nought (hah, a little olde English for ye on this fine Sunday!). She was really nice and did the fake sympathetic discussion with me, you know the one, where she uses her soft voice and makes it seem like we’re just the best of friends and she’ll miss me so very much. Pfft. I know she’s probably happy to be rid of me. So that is that. The next time I’m in Toronto I’ll be looking for a job. My plan is to print off a bunch of resumes and go from shop to shop handing them out. It’ll be gruelling and probably not fun at all but hopefully I’ll end up with a few interviews by the end of it. I know they’ve probably all stocked up for the Christmas holidays already (they all seem to hire extra temp workers around this time) but it doesn’t hurt to start looking now. As soon as I have a job in Toronto I can start looking for an apartment in Toronto.

So other than that, I guess life is grand. I’m done exams, I’ve got the rest of December to finish working and spend the rest of the holidays with my lovely family. Gord’s leaving for Winnipeg on the 23rd so I’ve got a limited time with him as well. I won’t get to see him for Christmas or New Year’s which really sucks but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t go to Winnipeg with him, flights are all booked up the wazoo and I’ve got my family to think about as well.

Imitation of Life

I’m at a crossroads and it’s putting some strain on my relationship with my mother.

I was supposed to spend the next semester at McMaster instead of Ryerson to accomodate this job at the CIBC. Well, I learned yesterday that that’s not going to happen. The courses I picked were non-transferable. I had already taken enough of those kind of courses to not need anymore. Wait, no. I need one more history course and that’s it, I’m done with all of my liberal studies courses. Whats left are all those marketing courses I’ve been putting off taking because I loathe marketing with such a fiery passion. I was so optimistic in my first year about marketing. Now I can’t stand the bloody subject!

Well, my fate at CIBC rested upon those transfer credits. Now that I cannot take those courses at Mac I need to start looking at my other options. I could continue doing this part-time thing, if I really wanted to, but it’s not something I’m keen on doing. I want to go to school and have a part-time job, yes, but not have a job and go to part-time school. After three years at Ryerson, the idea of leaving it now has really been a hard one to take, also. I love everything about Ryerson: it’s shoddy (for the most part) architecture, the wonderful instructors, those wonderful ladies I’ve come to know and love … none of that is something I want to give up.

So, I’ve decided that I’m going to quit CIBC after a month of working there. It will be two months by the time I quit at the end of December. No sense in jumping the gun completely. I’m off school for the Christmas holidays, so I may as well work fulltime and have money for presents.

My mother, on the other hand, seems to think that I’m capable of going to school and working at CIBC at the same time. Next semester I’m going to bite the bullet and take five courses again, a full courseload. I don’t want to take an extra two years to finish school unless there is some real added advantage to it (like majoring in History, which if Ryerson plans on shaping ACS into that, I will be doing!). I’m going to be taking all of those professionally-related courses that I deferred for as long as possible next semester cause I can’t (nay, I won’t) put them off for any longer. I need to stop hiding behind history as much as I don’t want to!

Boo. So, my mom and I have been a little testy with each other lately. I’ll take the blame for most of it cause I do have very little patience when it comes to her and school. After she walks away, muttering curses under her breathe, I end up feeling like shit. Last night, she actually stopped speaking to me for a bit :S That was really upseting. She never stops speaking with me!

The other problem is that I want to move to Toronto. I can’t do that unless I take out a line of credit to pay for rent (at least for the first few months). She thinks this is a bad idea, which in the grand scheme of things is probably true because it’s another debt that I’m adding to the hump on my back, but I feel its something that needs to be done. I’m entering my last year of school and I haven’t been on my own once. Travelling doesn’t count, either! Most people say it’s a bad mistake, moving out, but I think it’s a mistake that I need to learn on my own turf. I can’t have someone hold my hand the entire way into adulthood. It’d be nice, but I’m beginning to feel a little crowded in this womb. It’s time I went out on my own.

So I’m a little stressed out. I’ve got a letter of resignation I need to write, a resume I need to re-write, a personal line of credit I need to apply for AND … I have exams coming next week :S At least now that I’m down to three courses, it’s only three exams. But still, one of those exams belongs to Dr. Kislenko, and I always come out a little woozy from one of his exams.

So if I don’t update again for a long-ass time … it’s probably because I’ve imploded from stress, or because I’m in the process of moving, or something along those lines. Something .. not fun :S
Leah, it’s your birthday!

That’s it

A very happy birthday goes to my dear friend Leah. She turns twenty today, so everyone go wish her a happy birthday :)
Moving is never easy

Excuse my dust. I’ve moved servers (ie, I’ve moved web-hosting companies) so things are a little wonky-looking right now. Pay no attention to the funky strings occuring around the site. That just means I haven’t gotten around to fixing that just yet. Oh, and nothing other than the blog has been imported. I’ll let you know when that’s up.

God, this was (almost) more effort than it was worth :S

ETA: the rest of the website apart from the collective is back up and running. It’s past midnight. I couldn’t be less inclined to do anything else right now.

Happy first anniversary, :)
Goodbye childhood, I knew thee well

It’s my birthday. I’m now twenty years old. It’s also quarter to four in the morning. So I’m going to sleep! Gnight!


You should see my desk right now. It’s strewn with papers and a fifty-six page timetable calendar from McMaster. I’m so glad I found this thing. I don’t understand why Ryerson wouldn’t schedule all of it’s classes for Fall, Winter and Spring semesters like this. That way you can pick and choose when you want your classes, instead of waiting until you’re given your schedule to find out when Ryerson thinks you should have your classes. God, it’s so frustrating.

I’m mainly frustrated, though, because my school hours and my work hours are conflicting. I don’t know if I can keep my job at the bank and I’ve only worked three days :S Thus far, though, I have missed two classes and will miss another two on Friday. There’s only four weeks left in this semester, but I honestly don’t know if I can stick it out that long without going to all of my classes. Haha, I can hear some of you laughing … Not like you’d go anyway … yeah, well at least it’s on my terms when I don’t go, not the banks :P

That being said, I’m not having a terrible time at work. It’s been mostly all training these past three days and promises to be more training for the next few weeks. The first two days I stood behind a real CSR (customer care representative) and watched her do her thing. Yesterday I sat in an office for four hours working on these training programs on a computer. I went nearly bug-eyed by the end of the shift cause it was so boring. Today promises to be another fun five hours of that sort of thing. I’m nervous because I have to finally confront my boss about these hours and I’m frightened of how angry she’ll be. It took them so long to get my ass into this job and now I’m not going to even be able to work it? Oh man, they’ll blow up, I can feel it.

So I have emailed all of the professors of the courses I wish to take at McMaster in January. They are all history courses:

+ Early Modern Britain
+ Historical Antecedents of Globalization
+ Introduction to the History of Art (guilty pleasure, I love art! :) )
+ Europe from 1789 – 1945
+ The United States in the 60s

Hopefully all of them are transferable. Cross your fingers for me guys!
Work, school, rinse, repeat

Hi there, from Christian

Hello everyone, my name is Christian, and I’m Selene’s husband. You all may have noticed Selene’s absence of late, even in regards to her fanlistings. This is because Selene has been in the hospital since the middle of last month. She just came home earlier today, but she’s doing okay now and is recovering. Since she’s supposed to be resting, she won’t be back online until the beginning of next month, and even then it will probably only be for short periods of time.

Because of all that and in an effort to keep Selene off the computer, I’m shortly going to be going through and adding the pending members to all of her fanlistings for her. I’m not really well versed in a lot of HTML and web design (adding text to a premade webpage like I’m doing now is about all I can do), so I won’t be making any other updates, but if you’ve contacted Selene about anything like that I’m sure she’ll get back to you as soon as she can.

some cleaning

Okay, so I haven’t posted an update here in… a very long time. *sigh* I apologize, honestly, but between being busy with a number of things, forgetting to post here when I updated, and putting it off once the updates had piled up, it just didn’t happen. One of my New Years resolutions was to finally post an update here, though, so here we have it. :) I just want to note, though, that when I say something is “new,” I mean that it’s new since the last actual update which was on July 22nd, 2004. So “new” could have been six months ago or longer, as some of these are. When reading the update, keep in mind this covers updates I should have posted over the past six months. ;)

First there is some news and updates involving my hostees. Lena has opened four new sites on her subdomains: Gift From God (the namelisting for the name Jonas), Down to Earth (the namelisting for the name Jarod), Voice of God (the fanlisting for Metatron) and Splendidly Equine (the fanlisting for Blue Roan Horses). Heather of Man Behind the Mask has moved her blog/personal site A Face in the Crowd here, and Ingrid (a hostee who had just recently moved in) has moved her fanlisting collective to her own brand new domain and renamed it fanFANfan. Sarah moved her fanlistings that were hosted here to her own domain, and A Single Spark, Winter’s Kagome/Sesshoumaru fansite, has been moved to Winter’s new domain Eternal Adoration.

Next there is the fanlisting front. Many changes have taken place since I last updated — new fanlistings, adopted fanlistings, given away fanlistings, a new collective, and new fl collective layouts to name a few. As to the collectives, Grins and Lies has been skinned and has a new layout featuring Stephen Dorff, while Painted Blind simply has a new layout featuring Orlando Bloom as Will Turner, Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann and Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean. With the branching off and opening of The Anime Fanlistings Network from, I opened up a new fanlisting collective entirely for my anime/manga related fanlistings. It’s called Forgotten Lore after a line from Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven, and it currently has two skins. Both skins are anime/manga related, of course, one being of characters from Tokyo Mew Mew and the other with characters from Chobits.

As to individual fanlistings, I decided to wait and give them an update of their own later, since I have to update my collective as well.

Finally, I’ve cleaned out my affiliates list and removed any that were dead links or that didn’t have Forsaken Faith as an affiliate. I also updated two of the affiliate links: became and became

And I think that’s everything, excepting the fanlistings of course. :)

Oldest updates from 2004

Here are some of the older updates…

September 7th, 2004
This is just a brief note to let anyone who hasn’t been checking my fanlistings know I’m still around. :) I’ve been busy with staffing at TFL as well as creating, updating and revamping my various fanlistings. I plan on posting a complete update about new and updated sites, hostees, and everything else (including a new skin or two for Forsaken Faith) very soon.

July 22nd, 2004
On hostees: Lena’s site Life Giving Beauty has now been renamed Lillian and it’s been changed into the Namelisting Network approved namelisting for the name Lillian. And Heather (of Man Behind the Mask) has been kind enough to give me a beautiful gift which can be seen on my gifts page.

Beautiful Pain, Clex – Not Just Subtext, Dear Tom, Key to the Past, and Sacrifice have new affiliates and Ready Mind has a new donated code.

That’s about all I’m afraid. :( I haven’t really had time to finish work on anything else yet.

July 14th, 2004
First of all, I finished my fanlisting for the Labyrinth soundtrack. It’s called Only Forever and along with five skins it has 227 codes, more than I’ve ever made for any fanlisting before. There is also an extras section with the album cover, a track listing, lyrics and links.

Apropriate Sarcasm, Kiss and Tell, Pilot Error and Understanding have new donated codes and Perfect Sky is Torn has a new affiliate.

Finally, I’ve started working on redesigning Dear Tom and I have a couple of new skins for Forsaken Faith in various stages of progress.

In The Holidays

Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadians :) I hope you’re spending it well with someone you love and cherish. I’ll be at home with my family and my boyfriend. Life can’t get better than this, I don’t think :grouphug:

my niece and nephew

Oh and if you’re not spending this weekend getting stuffed with turkey, potatoes and other assorted holiday foods, please do go and see Serenity cause it’s a kickass movie based on a kickass show. Who knew a tiny Star Wars-hater like me could fall so madly in love with such a stunning parrallel?

Hey! Thanks for all the sentiments and congratulatory pats on the back, everyone. :grouphug: To be quite honest, I thought no one went here anymore :P Boy is my face red now! Or rad. Ya, it’s rad too :D God these smilies make me want to cringe. I found some new ones that are more awesome, so be on the lookout for those. They’ll be coming shortly.

So what’s new in my life, I hear you ask? Lots of stuff! I’m officially disease free, although Gord now has taken on the burden of wrestling with that hairy woman-beast that is, was rather, my cold :D Thanks, baby. You’re awesome ;) Seriously though, let’s all wish him well so that we can go back to the smooches. Cause those are always fun!

As you can tell, I’m in a cheerful mood. No real reason why, per say, just had an okay day, you know? Those are always nice. I made it to class on time and listened to 80% of it. The windbag tends to go on, though, so the remainder of the time I spent lavishing attention on my enourmous muffin and catching up on notes from other classes that I had skipped out on :S

Last Friday I got some good news: I have a job at CIBC! I’m now officially – well, starting October 17, I will be a customer service representative. Basically, I handle all the person-to-person banking stuff, if you don’t feel like going to the ABM/ATM/whatever. Fun stuff! I actually handed in my letter of resignation to McDonalds yesterday and it was anticlimactic. There was no one there to accept it! :headwall: The head manager phoned me about a half hour later and asked me to clarify whether I meant October 3 was my last day, or whether I was letting her know on October 3 that I was resigning. :doh: Officially, my last day will be the 16th. My first day at CIBC is on the 17th! Seriously, and I just found out I got the job on Friday. All of this is moving waaay too fast.

It’s sort of nice that I got this really great job, but on the other hand, it makes me kinda cringe. Mostly because I had intended on moving to Toronto for the remainder of the school year. Now that I have this job, I can’t go. I can’t pass up such good money :greedy: I’ll be set for the summer months and maybe even after school. At the very least, it’ll be a great job to have once I graduate and I need to start looking for a “career” :X

Maybe I can get transfered to a Toronto branch after this year? I suppose only time will tell. I feel like this is a new chapter in my life. Heck, I know this is a new chapter in my life. I’m no longer working at McDonalds … do you know how happy that makes me? I’ve been bitching about that job for four years before realizing that I need to actively do something about it. Now that I’m leaving though … I can’t help but be scared. I’ve never left McDonalds. :headwall:

In the school

I’m in the Arts computer lab at school right now. I went in to discuss letter of permission courses with an ACS professor. He made it perfectly clear that it was going to be tough to work everything out. I hate how everything has to go through red tape to get anything accomplished. Honestly, why can’t life be just simpler, huh?

That’s about as much bitching that I have about that. I feel pretty apathetic right now. I’ve got an hour before my next class and a bottle of Pinot Grigio waiting in my car for the evening. I’m going to invite Tatjana over tonight after helping my mother at the synagogue and gossip all night long. The poor girl was robbed yesterday. I don’t know what I would do if I came home to find my house ransacked. She thinks one of the other tenants did it because she had a quarrel with him the other day. Hopefully everything will work out. I’ve been wanting her to move for the longest time now. That apartment building she lives in is not the safest in Hamilton.

I am officially an employee of CIBC now. I start on Monday at 12:30 in the afternoon. I’m really nervous but glad that they are training me first. I don’t know if I could handle it if they just threw me into the fray and wished me luck. Part of me is still wondering when a head will pop up around a corner and tell me it’s all an elaborate joke. I guess it just hasn’t really sunk in yet that I am really and truly no longer a McDonalds employee! :S
Argh, matey

New layout cause I couldn’t stand the gross orange from the last one :blah: I like this one more cause it’s a pirate ship, and lately I’ve been having a thing for pirates. Don’t ask questions. Just go with it.
Great times in the Hammer

I met David Usher, y’all! I have a picture to prove it as well, but it’s not the most flattering of me so I’ll refrain from offending your eyes with it. Needless to say, he’s the nicest, most humble musician I have ever had the opportunity to meet. My friend Amy was in the crowd as well. She’s a major David Usher fan (actually, she’s a personal friend of his. Isn’t that insane?!) and I got a chance to say hi to her before and after the show. It was good to see her and I won’t deny it, I kinda hoped I could have tagged along with her to go and see David personally and be introduced to him. But still, he came out after the show and signed things and took pictures with everyone. Awesome stuff.

To think, the day before I didn’t even know I was going to see him. I have to admit, it was the perfect ending to a pretty :S week.

I hate this layout already and I want it to die. If it wasn’t so damn cold in this room (would it kill someone to turn on the furnace?!) I’d sit here and make a new Halloween layout. Maybe I will after I bundle up. I’m trying to read up on my Naomi Klein for one of my classes. I finally got around to buying the book. I already know, though, that I’m going to have to take it a few pages at a time, which is so not cool. I need it done within this semester for crying out loud, lol. I just don’t like heavy-handed sort of doom and gloom books about how Evil the Corporations are. I know they’re evil, please don’t remind me. I worked for one for four years may I remember.

O Canada

Today I am a Canadian citizen! Wait, no not yet. I have to go to my ceremony, but in an hour’s time, I will be a Canadian citizen! It’s too exciting for words :D

It’s too bad I have the flu to dampen my spirits :( I’m gonna sound like a drowned cat when I sing the national anthem!
Work Promotions are Better than You Think

Talking to Imke on AIM today, I realized that I don’t blog enough. I know it’s not crucial for me to document every minute of my life, but it’s nice to keep one updated on one’s life, I suppose, no?

I have some great news that came to me last week: I got promoted at work. Part of me knew I was going to get promoted, but I still couldn’t help feeling really happy about it. It’s nice to be recognized for your contributions, even if it’s long overdue. You see, folks, I’ve worked there for four years. I have only myself to blame for working there for so long. Now, though, I have been trying hard to find a new job. The closest I have come is this CIBC gig, which is sitting in limbo right now. I gave the manager my references and she never got back to me. It’s been over a week since I gave her the numbers, so I don’t know what she’s waiting for. I called her again today, so hopefully, I’ll get an answer soon.

In other news, this Wednesday I am going to become a Canadian citizen. I took the test a few weeks ago and figured I wouldn’t hear back from the government for a few months more because of all the bureaucracy involved, but surprisingly, we got a summons to appear next week to take our Oath! I’m really excited about this because I’ve lived in Canada for fifteen years now and I’m finally gonna be able to enjoy everything, not just some things, about being a Canadian. I can visit the United States if I want … I can vote in the next election! This is all very exciting stuff :D

So that has been my life in a nutshell for the past little while. I bought a t-shirt a little while ago:

I bought it actually in August, but after I sent them an email asking when I’d be receiving my shirt, I learned all August orders would be shipped out in September sooo here I sit waiting, heh.
Tonight has been an amalgamation

I’ve had a lovely time doing surprisingly not much tonight. The following words describe tonight perfectly:

Indian Summer, Church & Wellesley, Indian cigarettes, TIFF, Rodney Carvalho (I hope you google yourself, you silly fuck), Hong Kong action flicks, dogwalkers, ‘Apartment for Rent’, spanking, discourse on one-night stands, ‘Cube’, vibrators, to rush or not to rush, techno beats, transvestites.

It was a good night. I had a lot of fun for not much money and I got to see my baby.
Wake me up when September ends

Well, summertime is over. With it goes the vacation, the warmth, a job at McDonalds (perhaps).

Today I had an interview at CIBC for a customer care representative position. An hour later I had to work an eight hour shift at McDonalds. It clearly outlined how much I hate my current job. I really hope I get this new job, even though the hours are completely unrealistic. I’d virtually be quitting school to take on this job, but I’m willing to do it, I think. I can always go back in January, couldn’t I? I need to get away from McDonalds so badly, it isn’t even funny. I almost forget, though, that I also have an interview on September 6 at lululemon athletica, a clothing store in the West Mall, in Etobicoke. That would probably be more of a realistic job; their hours would probably be closer to part-time than CIBC. Still, I was given this shot by a friend of my mother’s. If I don’t accept the position, I would be making her look bad, I think, which I really don’t want to do.

That is, if I get the job. I’ll hear back early next week, I was told. I have the whole weekend to sweat over it. Great!

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